Which of us did not draw in our heads the perfect image of the future, distant and not very? A snow -white house on the shore of the ocean, an impressive account in a bank … It is a pity that this picture remains a dream, a dream, in the midst of which the alarm clock calls, mercilessly returning us to reality. How to finally turn “I want” into “I can”? The recommendations are divided by a psychologist and a specialist in the search for a calling Natalya Andreina.

Why does the gap between thinking and capabilities even arise? We will single out several of the most common reasons.

1. Dreams obviously unattainable in this situation

“She would like to live in Manhattan,” but her husband will never leave her native Irkutsk, and a woman is not ready to sacrifice her family with her family. Between “I want” and “I will” an abyss arises. A woman can even feel like a hostage of the situation – exactly until she realizes that everything that happens is only her choice.

2. Other people’s dreams

Traveling today is a real trend, and many are borrowed by other people’s dreams of circulation. True, however, that not everyone enjoys flights, sometimes unsafe adventures, unusual cuisine, and simply constant adaptation to new conditions.

3. Inability to think with categories of opportunities

It often happens like this: we have a dream or idea – and we immediately begin to explain to ourselves why it is impossible to realize it. There are a lot of arguments: there is no money, time, abilities, not the same age, the people around will condemn, and indeed the “wrong moment”. We are afraid to change the profession, because it is long, expensive and late, but it may well turn out that only two months to study and we have where to get money for it.

4. Theory without practice

Many people think that you just need to imagine the picture of the desired in detail, and then … it will come somehow “by itself”. But it is almost never. In order for the press to be embossed, it is not enough to visualize it – it is much more efficient to observe the diet and training.

Stereotypes and revision of goals

Why much real seems unfulfilled? Are stereotypes and installations always to blame? On the one hand, their influence is really great. We were

taught to “know our place”, and this often holds us in the initial position. And even if we decide to take a step, others immediately inform us why exactly nothing will work out for us.

On the other hand, the pace of life is accelerated, things that require our attention are becoming more and more. We often just have no time to sit down and think: what do we actually want and can it get it. And then, having separated dreams from real goals, find examples, indicate the deadlines and draw up an action plan. In this sense, work with coach helps a lot: the revision of goals is an integral stage.

Natural selection was on the side of the most careful, so changes and unknown inevitably cause anxiety and stress

Most often, when we have a global idea, a lot of questions pop up in consciousness. Where to begin? How relatives will react? Will there be enough time, money and effort? And, of course: “Or maybe it? And so everything is fine “. And this is quite natural. The oldest part is preserved in our brain, which remembers well: any changes, new paths and initiative increase the risk of being eaten. Natural selection was on the side of the most careful, so now changes and unknown inevitably cause anxiety and stress, in response to which the very ancient part of the brain gives one of the two reactions known to it: to run away or pretend to be dead.

Today, our way of flight is endless deeds, tasks and force majeure, which serve as a plausible pretext, so as not to do the intended business. In addition, we “pretend to be dead”, falling into apathy, inexplicable laziness, depression or illness – all the same “respectful” reasons to change nothing.

Even if you simply realize these mechanisms, it will be easier for them not to succumb to. But it is best to reduce anxiety. For example, get a maximum of information, divide the matter into small tasks, and each of them is another ten subtacle to take small steps and slowly but confidently move forward.

How to learn to “fly” if problems are pulled down

Often I hear from customers: “I don’t want anything,” and then I ask a few clarifying questions to figure out what the reason is. Nothing to want nothing – a sign of clinical depression, and this is not such a frequent phenomenon as to be without exception for all owners of mortgages and fathers or mothers of the family. As a rule, it turns out that a person simply does not have enough time to sit down and think about what he wants. Many are accustomed to exist on autopilot, but it is impossible to come to the right place without knowing the address. If you do not set goals, there will be no results we need. At heart, each of us perfectly understands what he wants and how to achieve this.

Thinking with capabilities is the ability not to repair an obstacle to oneself. In fact, it boils down to replacing the question “why it might not work?»The question” how else can I achieve this?”. Someone should stand at the helm of your life. And if you are not you, circumstances will intercept the initiative.